Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. As the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, that He might present the Church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:22-28).

 

Our diocese had a men's conference last month and I really learned a lot about being a real Catholic man. Aside from being able to meet fellow Catholics who share the same faith, it was a very enriching moment for me. The speaker was Deacon Dr. Bob McDonald. He is a doctor by profession but also an ordained deacon in the Catholic Church. This article is a hodge-podge of things I remembered from that conference.

 

One of the topics discussed was the passage above. Very often, we have heard that wives should submit to their husbands. But according to Deacon Bob, we should not just stop in that verse. We have to read further to the part that says, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. He then proceeded to discuss three ways that Christ loved His Church:

 

Christ served His Church. In the Last Supper, Jesus wrapped Himself with a towel and knelt down and washed the feet of his disciples (the Church). Husbands should therefore do the same - they should 'kneel down and serve their wives'.

 

Christ is obedient to His Church. This thought surprised me but it is true, When Simon professed that Jesus was the Christ, Jesus told him, "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, whatever you bind on earth, shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loosed on earth shall be loosed in heaven." Matthew 16:19.

 

Jesus promised to accept whatever His Church binds or looses through the Pope. If God, a perfect being is obedient to His imperfect Church, husbands should therefore also be obedient to their wives.

 

An example he gave is this: The speaker was a doctor and a deacon. In terms of his work in the medical field and his ministry, his wife had to obey him. But in running his office and finances - where his wife was clearly more skilled in this, he had to obey his wife. Marriage is a complimentary relationship and not a competition between the husband and the wife.

 

Christ died for His Church. This is a more difficult thing to do. Husbands should protect their wives - from harm, gossip and from sin. If the time comes, they should also be willing to take the bullet for their wives.

 

Another thing he talked about was a father's relationship with his children. It is the father's responsibility to teach the faith to their children. It is also the father's responsibility to discipline his children. An undisciplined child is an abused child. The best thing that a son can hear from his father is 'I am proud of you son'. So fathers, try saying that to your sons and see what happens.

 

The husband has moral authority to lead the family. But the wife has the love authority to lead the family. The husband builds a house, the wife builds the home.

If a woman is pregnant, the father and mother should even at that time, bless the child in the womb. Because pain in childbirth is a curse, the husband should pray that the Lord will have mercy on his wife and make the childbirth as painless as possible. When the child is born, sing hymns instead of lullabies. Introduce real heroes to your children. Do not introduce heroes like Barbie or Rambo. Instead, let them get to know the saints like Francis of Assisi, Teresa of Avila, and other great men and women of the Church.