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IN
THIS ISSUE:
Cover
Page
by Bro.
Pete Lapid
SPECIAL FEATURE:
Place
of Refuge
By
Philip Yuson
Sharing
By
Liza Caleda
Our
Faith
By Fr.
KJ Veeger, MSC
Surabaya
Corner
By
Ramon Martillano
Sharing
By
Carolle Bautista
Here's
the Latest
By
Tintin Magbitang
Reflection
Homily
by
Fr.
Martinus
God
Answers Prayers
By
Beth Manibog
Saint
for the Month
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- Catholic
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 - PROFILE
OF THE
- GENESIS
CATHOLIC COMMUNITY
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OUR FAITH
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 There are many
different kinds of love. We
know of self-love or egoism that always aims at the very best for
oneself, often at the cost of others. The self is in the center of
attention and every effort to get the best out of life, and sees the
others as being coincidental only, or insofar they are functional in
attaining that end.
We know of
erotic love and its counter-part platonic love that is rather
rationalistic, where feelings and passions play an inferior role. We
know of the love of friendship, which is selective in nature, and there
is charity, that originates from God and returns to Him. We know of love
in the form of total self giving, or as being partial and reserved.
Where
people love one another, always one form or another will prevail, come
to the fore and be emphasized. Yet all forms are at least potentially
present.
On purpose
I did not mention a form of Love called reproaching love aimed at
correcting the other, telling him or her about what is missing or what
is wrong with him or her. Reproaching is a Christian duty. Jesus has
said about it, “if your brother sins against you, go to him and show him
his fault” (Matthew 18:15). Perhaps reproaching love is the most
difficult to practice and also to accept. Reason is that everybody
tends to set reproach apart from love, as if there is no relationship
between both. If reproach is not an expression or form of love, it
becomes easily distorted by anger, the will to rule over others,
self-exaltation, or interpreted as such. It brings about tension and
even disastrous conflict.
Many
marriages go to the rocks because of lack of love. Instead of leading
to a loving reproach and talking things over in an atmosphere of love,
the shortcomings of the other are the excuse to hate and fight them.
There must be an inseparable relationship between love and reproach.
The latter should be the expression of the first. Because what is
love? By nature love is always the inner urge to make the beloved
happy, liberate him, release him from his human limitations and
everything he is still short of, supplement him, promote his material
and spiritual well-being, and make him more and more human. If the
component of love is missing, reproach may become a form of tyranny!
What should be beneficial for the other, becomes detrimental and may
lead towards the worst and man’s downfall. How to make love the soul
and moving force of Christian reproach?
Point of
departure and continuous background of reproach must be humility in the
sense of being deeply aware of our own imperfections, human limitations
and weakness. The Gospel states it in Jesus’ words: “You are chosen
(as God’s people), not because you outnumbered the people. (rather
reversal) you were the least; it was for love of you”.
Thus if we
reproach – be it our wife, husband, driver, servant or whoever he is –
it should not be done because of an imaged survalue on our side, but in
acknowledgment that we too suffer our limitations and weakness as much
as they do, or even more. Remember the word, “ You were the least”.
If true
love animates our reproaching somebody, it will rather show humble
tolerance, acceptance of the human condition as it is in us and in the
other, and our belief, that together we should strive for a better
living as family or community. Not the condemnation of wrongdoing is
the purpose of loving reproach, but searching together of ways and means
toward changing, or at least diminishing the things that exercise a
negative impact upon our human development and that of the others.
Condemnation, retaliation and punishment express a negative attitude
that seldom or never leads to true human development. But loving
reproach is like dialogue, which is always positive and always more or
less successful.
Besides
humility there is forgiveness as a basic characteristic and precondition
of loving reproach.
That
reproach can only be effectively done after we have forgiven the other
for his errors. Jesus said, “forgive others and God will forgive you”
(Luke 6:37)
An
unforgiving heart makes it impossible to find the right words for a
loving reproach. It spoils the atmosphere, which should be conducive to
the well-being of the parties concerned. Forgiveness sensitizes a
person to what he should say and what she should not say, when he
reproaches somebody.
Humility
and forgiveness are closely interconnected. If the one is present, the
other will be present too, and vice versa.
Please
reflect on what we must do in order to respond better to Jesus’ love,
humility and forgiveness.
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